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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in A Rebel's Yell's LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 3rd, 2009
4:16 pm
Because rust never sleeps...
One of my all time favorite lyrics "It's better to burn out, than to fade away" by Neil Young.

Today I found out that I have another friend that's fading away too soon.
My friend Dougie. I've known this kid my whole life. He's sort of an unofficial cousin.
Our mothers went to college together, and his family and mine our close as it gets.
Even as we got older my brother and I still got together occasionally with him and his sisters to hang, sans the parents...


Well Dougie OD'd. He's not going to make it, they took him off of life support this morning and I got a call from another mutual friend that they removed him from life support at 11am ths morning. And That just recently everyone was asked to leave the room as medical people see what organs can be harvested for donors...
Now the family just has to wait for the time to pass.

It's frustrating, to know that. What's also frustrating was the path that got him here.
When we were college age he had some issues with drugs and alcohol, he went to rehab, got straight..

Then in summer of 08 he got in a car accident he was driving his pickup, had the window down, his arm hanging out. He got sideswiped, the car flipped on the side his arm was hanging out. his arm got all shredded up to the bone. He had some surgeries, but they put him on oxycontin and vickadins to recover....
That didn't work, he was downhill since.

Christmas he had a suicide attempt.

And now he OD'd on the same drugs he was originally prescribed, and his time is running up..

Some people never really get the shot at life they deserved.


Now a guy I've known since we were in diapers is soon to be gone.

Neil Young also said "Every junkie is like a setting sun", but I really thought Dougie would be different...

Sometimes good people get a bad break and never recover.

I'm sad it had to happen to him, hope he doesn't have to suffer to much longer.

I hate talking like he is dead already.

Tough break.

Sucks.

I'll miss the guy, we had some fun times.
----------------------------------

On other news April when your in school is crunch time, and as I am entering the dusk of my last semester of classes, it's getting intense 3 projects in the next 5 weeks or something to that effect....
But I'm carrying a 3.87 GPA right now, so I'll pull it off. I've got to.
It sure is a lot of work though. I will get through it.


That's really all on my mind now.
I wish I updated this journal thing more often with good stuff, but the thing is I've always used it to vent, and frustration comes from stress, sadness, and anger. Those are the things I need to vent, I don't have to vent the good stuff. But when the good stuff happens I don't have that "I need to vent feeling", and that's the feeling that reminds me to write in here.
Saturday, March 21st, 2009
12:40 am
The test begins now....
The only thing I don't like about now working in education is standardized testing.
Teachers don't like giving these tests, kids don't like taking these tests, basically it makes the whole population stressed out and bat-shit insane. However it does provide a few moments of absolute comedy.

Today I was giving the NOCTI test. National Occupational Competency Initiative is what it stands for basically when kids go to tech school it tests their understanding of the trade.

For tech schools this is big deal shit.

So today I'm proctoring a test and I have a computer lab full of kids from 8 different programs each taking this monster. It's a 3 hour test thats about 240 questions relating to whatever field they studied.

Anyway one kid's bus had troubles so he came in about a half hour late.

So trying to stay as quiet as possible I start giving him the directions to get set up.
When I get through those I say "Alright you're all ready to go. You can hit start and begin now Jack."

Just as I finnish, the kid to the computer on the left of us has his head in his hand staring down at some math problem he's scratching away at on his desk and mutters under his breath " But Captain Jack will get you high tonight"...

Before it hit me what was going on one of his buddies 2 or three seats away sings semi-loudly "Captain-Jack will get you by tonight"....

Next thing I know it I have a group of 4 kids at there desks with their arms on each others shoulders swaying in their seats and singing the chorus to that old Billy Joel song.

I'm laughing hysterically at this and yet at the same time trying to regain control of the class.
"You guys need to be quiet and concentrate on this test. You can sing together when you are done. I don't want any of us getting in trouble.."

Anyway it only went on a moment but it was awesome and an amazing comical relief in a very stressful day for all involved.

My only question, how does a group of 18 year olds know the lyrics to Billy Joel?

Weird.

Weird, but awesome.
Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
1:48 am
Going back, falling down, moving on.
Home, after a crazy night.
Not good not bad, but crazy a night that got me thinking.
I've been in a very up and down mood this summer.
School is working me hard and I'm getting through it, but it's slower than I'd like.
I should be done by first summer session next year... so close ....so far.

I've come a long way in a year, since I started this path to change everything. But I feel like I've lost a lot too.
And then you have events like tonight, that just make reality crush down upon your skull like the force of a truck cuasing you to lose control and waking up on the sidewalk....

I visited some old ghosts tonight...
I lived there way for a few hours.
Old friends, but their path wasn't the way I wanted to go, and so I walked away.
Its been over a year so when we crossed paths again, I had to give it a shot.
But its the same old... and though i miss the friends, I can't live like that anymore.
It hurts to walk away, I really think the next time I see them will be one of their funerals...

It's like watching your past die.
Especially with those two. He was my best friend since I was 12, she was on and off but more important than I told anyone. But I've been to too many funerals, I've seen too many hit rock bottom, and I tried to hold them up but they drag me down with...

But why be tied to the past right?
Fuck it, cut the chord.
But it sucks when the future seems so far off and the present has nothing to offer.

Just one more brain breaker on whats been a rough path.

Its been a year, filled with some positives, back in school doing really well, moving along faster than i thought too completion, I'm healthier than I've been in years, back in somewhat of shape, now going to just drop some wieght, but overall feeling good. I got out of a career that was making me sick, and away from the false face "spin" of corporate marketing, and now i'm working with kids and teaching them what I love.

But man is there a down side, I'm HURTIN' for money, school is so expensive, and I wont take out more loans, I'm 30 and had to move back in with mom and dad, that sucks.
For years i dreamed of owning a motorcyle, I had one, but when I needed money, it had too go, and so it went.
I really want to get the hell out of Bucks County PA more than anything, but somehow I keep landing back here.

I found this stupid list i made when i was in high school things i thought i'd have done by 30, I thought i'd have traveled seen the world... I still havent gotten to europe, australia, japan, any of the places i'd dreamed of.
I'm still in this stupid town, in my parents house.
I thought i'd have that regular group of close friends.
I don't I have a million people I see here and there, but that regular small close circle i always wanted still escapes me.
Same car i've had through college. Motorcyle was a taste of a dream then gone.
This year has made me really crash into a different perspective, at times almost invisible.

At the old job, I hated it but I was someone, I knew everyone, and always had something to do.

Now I feel like I rarely get out and when I have time, most people have moved on....

I know this won't last forever, but I'm tired of waiting, tired of watching friends move off and move on, drop dead, fade to nothing, but I'm also sick of seeing everyone else living their dreams and getting thier desired life started while for what seems like forever I'm stuck at square one.


I know its just a moment in time, and things will improve and won't always be like this.
But right now, hell I just want a reason....

I feel stuck.

I'm going to my friend college Sal's wedding tomorrow.
At least for the day that will be something fun, i'll see some people I haven't seen in awhile, but then sunday back to the books, back to reality..

oh well, time does what time will do, and I hate waiting but I know time is something I'll have plenty of, and damn it I will get there.
Saturday, May 31st, 2008
5:38 pm
Schoolhouse Rocks!
Yo...
I got my grades in for spring of 08.... today!
I got 2 A's! I am now officially 12 credits in to a 36 credit program...
1/3 the way there.
And I passed the first 2 of my 3 praxis tests that I must take to go any further ...
I have one more to pass by July 7th in order to move into the 2nd level of the program...
It's damn stressful, but I'm doing well.
It's a good feeling, I know in the long run this will be good for me
Saturday, May 10th, 2008
3:27 pm
Updates, rambling, change, and getting old
Hello Live Journal peoples, it's Jake.
Yes, I know I've been gone for a while, but it is time for another of my random update journals, so enjoy because, who knows when the next one will be.

I just wrapped another semester of Temple working towards my teachers certification.
I have a 4.0! I've never been able to do anything this well in my life.
I still have a lot of ways to go, I'm hoping by May of 2010 I'll have it all complete.
It's a lot of work, and it doesn't make life easy when you are going to school, but I know it will be for the best eventually.

It's weird how much my life has changed in the past 10 months or so.
I quit EFC back in September.

I used to work at shows and be out till like 3 am every night. I was stressed. Even on the days I wasnt working it was the only thing on my mind.

So I quit, and since september I've been at the Vo -Tech school I once went to.
I'm basically just a teachers assistant, but because of my background, I've really gotten to do a lot.
What's strange is that I'm really not sure what I'm doing, but I think I'm good at it.
I teach Photoshop, and media theory, and help kids with their work in other subjects.
I like it. The kids seem to really like me, and so does the administration.
They have already asked me to come back a second year.
We'll see, I like keeping my options open but its nice to be wanted.

I just wish it paid a little more, and maybe that's why I am looking around....

I made more in music biz, but I peaked and burned out early.

Maybe its for the best, I'm used to struggling but I know its not going to be much longer.

In about a year and a half I'll have my teachers certifications in Special Ed, and Career Technical Education for Multimedia.

It's nice to have something to look forward to.

I really do look forward to moving into this new career deal I got going.

Right now its a hell of a lot of work...

I took 3 classes and worked full time this past semester.
I felt like today was the first time I've been outdoors in months, well it has.

Its ton of jargon, a ton of theory, and lots and lots of papers, but really from what I've got so far most of teaching just seems to be how to relate and talk to people.
Turns out that's something I'm pretty good at.

I have to take the PRAXIS test on May 20, its a bit intimidating, but I am studying so hopefully Ill do okay.

The one piece of my music industry life I am holding on to for now is my radio show at Y-Rock.
I don't exect that to last forever. I mean, I invest a lot of time into it, I review music for about 2 hours a night,
I get to the station early on sundays at about 4pm to do production work, and my show runs 7-11pm. So I usually get outta there about 11:30 or so and am home around 12:30.... now back in my old career that wasn't bad but I think this will where on my after a few years being as I now have to be at work on monday mornings at 7:15am.

Its weird, I don't always like the way the station is run, or the other personalitys, or even the way the station has developed sometimes.

But I love doing my show, I love every minute of it, and I love knowing I do a small part in showing someone out there something new in music they might like...

Right now its my stress reliever while I don't really have much else to fall back on.

But I know that my life is in this weird transition time and eventually that will change and be a part of the past too.

In the mean time, life is hard, but life is good.

I like what I do, and at the end of the day, I dont feel like I am taking the stress of the job home with me.
If I leave at 4:30pm, by 4:35 i am in my car and my mind is on something besides work...

That is a welcome change.

The negative is money. I hate that part but I keep knowing that will change eventually.

I need to get a place of my own, but in order to do that I need to know where I will be, even to rent a place I need a certian income and I need to be able to predict I'll be in that area for a year...

Right now I can't do that.

So I've been moving around, I sublet here and there for a few months, staying with different friends, when that option isn't there I give in and move back home, for the time being...

I guess you can only fix one thing at a time.

So what I have is an improvement, I like what I do a ton, I'm way less stressed, and because I'm less stressed I feel way better.

But I really feel that what i need to be happy is a place of my own...
That will come.


On thursday I will be 30 years old.
Thats scary. If you would have asked me 5, 10, 15 years ago where I'd be when I was 30 years old, I defiantly had hoped for bigger things.

In years past I've always kinda celebrated my b-day. Getting through another year was like a way to look back at what I've accomplished...

I'm not celebrating this year, I just don't feel like I have anything I've accomplished to celebrate.

Maybe when I graduate, or get a place of my own, I'll make up for that.

But nows not the time.

Besides that things are pretty simple, I haven't had much of a social life over becuase of work and school so I've decided that I am taking the first half of summer off. That'll give me a chance to relax and maybe, catch up with some of the people I should have kept in contact with but did not.

well whatever I guess I'm rambling, but thats what a damn journal is.

So to summarize, change is hard, change is good.
And right now lots of things are in the process of changing.
And once I can make these changes happen, life will be good I hope.

Well now I gotta get going, gotta study for the PRAXIS.
Monday, April 28th, 2008
10:43 pm
Grad School
So much work
Test tomorrow god damn
Monday, September 3rd, 2007
10:41 pm
New Wind....
A few weeks ago i had a breakdown or maybe it was a breakthrough, sometimes it takes time to know the difference.
Life has been dragging for a while, work, sleep, and some booze to numb the stress.
The world went black for a bit there, its hard to focus when the thing you once loved you've come to dispise.
Music was my life but living music ruined my life... I was depressed, and hated my job, hated my world...
So a few weeks ago something happened the last straw. I had enough, I quit my job.
and the plan i kept hinting at but never actually went through with fell together quickly.
For the first time I am taking not 1 but 3 grad school courses, a full time semester, and I got a new job as a media supervisor/teacher assistant at the school I once attended,
My goal is to be teaching audio video to either a high school or college level in the next 3 years... at this pace I'm on my way...
I couldnt see the light of reaching any goals when i was working in the music buisness.
Now, there's music when the lights went out.... I know where I'm going and I know how I'm gonna get there.

It's been a long time since i updated this journal, I cant promise it will be a regular thing. This might just be a one time thing to say I'm back... maybe not to live journal, but I'm back, I feel good, I like what I'm doing, I like my job, for the past week or so since i left the music buisness, life is fun again.. So yeah, I'm back
Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
11:59 pm
checking in/ i didn't drop off the earth
It's been over 6 months, since i wrote in this thing.
I'm still here.
Busy as hell.
The working in the music buisness is kinda like knowing you're the most sane patient in the mental hospital. No matter how much more stable you are then the other nutjobs there has got to be something wrong with anyone who does this for a living.
I'm doing good.
i sleep about 5 hours a night.
I am working days
I am working nights.
I'm trying to squeeze in time to play in this fun band that for some reason the guys in it actually like me playing in.
It's called Dirty Dogs.
Kinda a trashy punk rock n roll
I love that stuff... New York Dolls, Dead Boys, Ramones,
Thats the sound...
Its like an assualt on the ears.
I'd have it no other way
I'm working on getting my motorcyle permit.
I have a realitor and am looking to buy a house, like any moment now.
I gave up on the medical world to find cures for the sickness thats plagued my life for years, dropped all medicines worked myself back to health using diet, & vitamins.
shots, meds, crazy machinary.... none of that shit works
You know what the cure for band lungs is?
Determination.
Whatever ails ya, whethere it be mental, physical or emotional.
i realized something, sometimes all you need is some fucking willpower aand a love for life
I go skateboarding at about 2 am everynight before i go to sleep.
I still feel like at times, i'm that face in the crowd everyone kinda knows but nobody stops to see whats going on with. thats okay by me, i'm not sure i'd want to stop long enough to catch up anyway
on july 8 i start a nightschool class.
I've been told i won't be able to go on like this.
I don't care.
Nothing has stopped me yet.
I'm 28 years old. .
being determined is sometimes stressful, sometimes lonely.
but I keep getting by.
I got a bunch of things to slowly change
but over all I'm fucking happy
Not a whole lot of people can say that.
anyway, I gotta get back to work.
time to close up the tla.
Saturday, December 31st, 2005
12:11 am
you know when you're on vacation and you lose track of days.
I just looked at a calader and realized December 28th had past while i was away.

December 28th, would have been my friend Meghan J. Brown's 29th birthday.

It still was her birthday, but this year it wasn't the same because she was not around for it.
Meghan took her own life in April 2nd of this year... and I miss her a ton.

After she died, I found her on Myspace.

Here is the link. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=2539937

It was her profile now it's an eerie tribute.

What's really sad is her headline: "Am I living happily ever after now?"

I hope wherever she is, she is happy...

Anyway It made me think alot, Meghan was an awsome person, an amazing friend. I cant imagine what her family must have felt this year over the holdidays and through her birthday without her there.

I think when she swallowed that fist full of pills to end what ever pain, suffering, and missery she was in, she didnt realize that she would put those feelings into the people she left behind in her life.
I think about her all the time. I miss my friend Meghan.

If you are thinking about committing suicide - please talk to someone. Call a family memeber a friend, and if you don't feel right doing that....CALL ME.

There are many organizations around that can help you. Find one. Please. Every one of us see's hard times, but you can get through them, and surviving the hard times makes the good times great.

I personally know ... or, I should say, knew... 2 people who took their own life ... and that's 2 too many.

I'd like to be able to stop counting...

Unfortunately from these experiences, I can tell you how it leaves the people who cared about you (the suicide victim) feeling - it leaves the people who did care about you wondering: "Why didn't I see it?" and "What could I have done to help?"
"Why didn't he/she talk to me?"

Above all there is an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and failure to see it that the people you leave behind feel... and a big empty space in the hearts of your friends, family, and others that care about you..

Believe me. Nobody is ever alone in this world. Nothing is so bad that suicide is the answer.

I miss my friend Meghan.

It hurts looking back and realizing a person I had in my life that was this amazing is not around anymore.

Don't let this happen to you, or anyone you care about.

Thanks for reading this...

Happy Birthday Meghan Brown.

I miss you.


-Jake

Current Mood: disappointed
Friday, December 30th, 2005
8:59 pm
My trip to Jamaica
everyone keeps asking me how was jamaica, and i'm not really sure how to respond, except for the word "Amazing." So i was just writing an email to one of my really great friends and telling them about the trip, and thought hey this would be a really great post to tell everyone what it was about.

So without further dragging on, this is a breakdown of my jamaican vacation. Yeah mon...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did I do in Jamaica.

dude it was amazing. I didnt expect it to be this much fun, i expected to sit on a beach drinking rum and red stripe beer. And you know what if thats all there was it would have been enough for me but I did that and so much more.

It was 90 degrees down there the whole time, at a few points of the day the sky would just crack open into these gigantic downpours of rain, and it would only last like 15 minutes, and then suddenly it would stop, you're back in a sunny paradise and everything is dry again.

There was music everywhere, from big ass reggae concerts on the beach, some cost money but most were free. everyone from little local guys to big shots like shaggy, sean paul, damian marley, and third world played. but it wasn;t just reggae the whole place is just a bed of music culture. people sing these almost soul songs while they work.

On christmas sunday, the jamaican women got all dressed up in these beutiful brightly colored robes, and all the different churchs walked out into the streets togehter and they start singing these really loud amazing gospel style songs, and kids danced in the streets. And they're was always music, but not just reggae, some street performers played blues blues, amazing jazz, and almost everyone plays drums, so becuase its a third world style country and they dont have like tv's and computers and crap alot of times the neighborhood people just hang by doing these awsome drum circles. I got in one and they tought me to play a basic beat, and i have a drum and its just literally a scrap, a broken piece of metal that looks like it used to be part of an old oil barrel. One night I went to this place the jungle, which is a huge nightclub in negril, and it was awsome, now if you know me you know i;m not a nightclub type of guy, but to party and dance along with the people of the town and other tourists from accross the globe....i had a ball.

And the art there is amazing, they carve faces into trees, the houses are all little one room shacks, sometimes they dont even have electricity but they are painted these big bright colors, puples, blues, yellow, orange. it was just fucking beutiful. and the artwork was awsome, they have murals like in philly on public walls, but it wasnt like the murals in philly, they paint these awsome landscapes.... i cant really even describe it it was such an awsome experience.


and thats not even all i did. I went into caves, I dug up crystals, i made these crazy bead things, I went to a party with in this ghetto of negril called red rocks, and partied with the natives and they cooked me the most amazing food and it was all from stuff that was either vegatables they grew, animals they raised or fish they cought right there on their land. and there are animals everywhere just wondering on the roads like they were people, everywhere you look, goats, dogs, cats, cows, horses, birds of every color you could possibly imagine.

I learned to play reggae stlye on the bass, i went snorkeling, jet skiing, i went to a holistic medicine doctor that fixed the cough that i've had for like 8 months straight with some really nasty tasting vegatable tea. I went deep sea fishing.

This jamaican family that I befriended, cooked us a fish dinner, and it was so cool they cook up the fish whole like they still have eyes and tails and shit ( this might have freaked you out but, to me it was just fun) I didnt know how to eat it, they had to teach me.

My hotel was like 100 feet from the beach, when i walked out of my door, there was a Bananna tree, and a coconut tree, and you could eat them right off the vines. And Some rasta guy i made friends with got me sugar cane, its like this yard long looking branch right, and you just bite into it and its really soft, and all this sugar water leaks out of it into your mouth, and you just spit out the bark.

and like between all that crap. I just spent hours laying on the beach staring at the palm trees and the ocean thinking, oh my god this is fucking killer.

I'm going back in april, when the rates go down after tourist season ends. and then again in October of next year, it really was the most amazing place i've ever seen in my life, i was their for a little less than a week, but i could have gone a month and not done everything there i wanted to do.

If you ever, get a chance to go, you need to, its an amazing experience, its a much more laid back lifestyle there, but the people don't live with nearly the amount of luxury we do in America. I could go on for hours telling you about it, it was so much fun and such a beautiful experience.


You know there;s alot of people that go to places like this and go to these all inclusive hotels, and resorts and pay silly money and never leave there resort. Thats not seeing jamaica, thats just having a nice vacation in a warm climate, if you want that go to club med, if you want to see jamaica, or any other country like it go out and see it, walk around talk and eat with the people who live there. I did, and it is an expeirience I will never forget.

You need to see it for yourself in order to not only see the country for just how amazing it is, but also to appreciate what we have here at home in the U.S. just a little more.

Some time, once i get them all developed, i'll have to show you pictures.

Its just a really fantasic place, i was there for a week and i fell in love with it, it's not like the place you go to visit, and say that was fun i'll be back someday. Its the kind of place, that I know I will go back to as soon as I can, and be going to spend time there for many years to come.

I hope you all had amazing holidays,

Happy New Year!

-Jake
Saturday, December 24th, 2005
7:26 pm
It's 83 degrees outside, the sun has still not yet set. I'm on the balcony of my hotel room and about 100 feet from the beach.

Life is good in Negril, Jamaica.

Happy holidays.

-jake
Friday, December 16th, 2005
10:09 am
I just did something I havent done in years.
I have off today, I got up at 6 am anywway, and I just spent 4 hours staring at the reciever on my stereo, taking in every last second of The Howard Stern Show.
I'm not gonna go rush to get satelite radio, but its a strange listening to something i heard every morning for years knowing that monday morning, it will be gone.

I havent been a huge stern fan for a while, especially since he announced his leaving where his show kinda became an advertisment for Sirius, i started flipping my dial in the mornings to sevearl other morning shows.

Howerever, this week, it was nothing else but Howard, love him or hate him, take away the angry dwarfs, the klan members, the strippers and crack whores, and you still have the biggest advocate of free speach my generation has ever seen. In an time where major media conglomerates, big buisness, the religous right, fox news, and the fcc are doing everything in there power to shelter the eyes and ears of the country from recieving information that they consider "unclean" a personality like that is important.

Its important that we have someone out there to push the limits of what is appropriate, someone who can say whatever and get people to listen. If the limits aren't tested how can you tell if your speech is actullay free.

I'm not a huge fan of the stern show, I am a huge fan of Stern. I think it takes a very intelligent man, to rally so many people like that...

Its still odd to think theres a very good chance I'll never get the oppertunity to listen to something that cutting edge on the dying radio medium I love.

Okay well I'm not really sure what I;m gettting at just in shock.

I'm gonna get going. I have the day off, time to go live it.
12:15 am
Just got back from the Factory.
I am officially on vacation and done working until January 3rd 2006. Now I;m gonna hang home through the weekend and then next monday let the travels begin.
I think i'm going to drive out to the rock n roll and maybe baseball hall of fames, i just have to be back in philly by 11am on the 25th cause i'm flying to jamiaca at noon that day. but as for the next week before that as americas favorite stoner Willie Nelson once said...I'm on the road again.
Sunday, November 13th, 2005
7:44 pm
I don't think anybody but Waryne, will care about this, but....holy crap Eddie Guerro died!

'WWE Smackdown!' Star Guerrero Dies 1 hour, 14 minutes ago



MINNEAPOLIS - Eduardo Gory Guerrero, a World Wrestling Entertainment superstar was found dead in his hotel room Sunday in Minneapolis, where he was scheduled to appear that evening in a WWE Supershow. He was 38.

ADVERTISEMENT

When he didn't respond to a wake-up call, hotel security at Minneapolis Marriott City Center and Guerrero's nephew and fellow WWE wrestler, Chavo Guerrero, forced their way into the room, police said.

There were no apparent signs of foul play or suicide, police said. An autopsy was planned at the Hennepin County medical examiner's office.

He was a featured star on the UPN series "WWE Smackdown!" and son of Mexican wrestler Gory Guerrero.

Chavo Guerrero and McMahon said Guerrero was open about his past drug and alcohol abuse but they said he'd been sober for four years.

In February 2004, Guerrero became the second wrestler of Hispanic heritage to be WWE champion when he defeated Brock Lesnar, a former University of Minnesota wrestling standout. Guerrero lost the title four months later.

In May 2004, UPN aired the special "Cheating Death, Stealing Life: The Eddie Guerrero Story." The one-hour program chronicled his childhood and his struggle with drug addiction that almost cost him his job, family and life before his recovery and eventual capture of the WWE championship.
Saturday, November 12th, 2005
3:59 am
I really need to see the movie Walk The Line.

You need to stop reading this and go listen to more Johnny Cash and then you'll understand why
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
11:35 pm
I AM THE KING OF ROCK... well not yet... but on the way!
well i bitch a lot about my job.
And i still will.
But it got a little better today.

I GOT A PROMOTION!!!!

I'm going to be the touring marketer.
THis means all the acts that we book not just in philly but the entire tours of, I'm going to be in charge of the marketing plans for. It's all huge arena acts with big big ticket prices, and not a lot of the acts that my punk rock/ metalhead self knows not as much about, but its a big step
I get a $4 an hour raise and i get a company expense account, and I'll get to travel with some of the tours...

WOO HOO rock n roll just got a little more exciting...

In other news, my LJ friend Amber is coming to philly, although i don't really know her or won't be in town when she gets here, i'm playing cyber tourguide and telling her all the hip bars, clubs, restauarants, music stores, places to go here in the best city in the world. It's actually kinda fun.
So i'm coming up with a list, i know alot of places but everyone has different tastes, so if you got a favorite hang out place in the city that someone who hasn't been here before should know about, let me know so i can let her know...

Besides that all is good. I'm going to NYC for halloween weekend with this new girl i;m kinda seeing.
She's awsome but its too new, and relationships scare me so i'm going slow as hell and because it's been like 2 years and i'm fucking nervous.

yeah, so life for jake at the moment is ROckin And Rollin once again in the city with a crack in the bell...

ooh, and i think i'm getting a tattoo... i kinda designed it but i can't draw, but my brother can, so i'm waiting for him to draw what i like and then im getting it, i want this cracked heart with the skyline of philadelphia inside it and have in on the inside of my left bycep area.

it's all in my head now i just have to get it on ink in my skin..

umm that is all

Happy Halloween Philadelphia, NYC, and Jersey Kids, ooh and Jack in D.C. too

more later i want to go to bed

Current Mood: cheerful
Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
10:57 pm
i
need
new
job.
NOW!
Saturday, October 1st, 2005
1:07 am
I'm going to NYC tomorrow night, with this really cool girl who is a cocktail waitress at the factory that i've been kinda seeing, staying overnight and hanging through sunday night before i take the train back.
I think it's going to be fun, I have to go get a drink at cbgb's one last time.
I have to see Joey Ramone Place. I want my picture taken at the corner of 53rd and 3rd.
and i want to skateboard in brooklyn.
And there is a really cool bookstore around st. marks that i don't know the name of but i love and i must go there.
THis is the fun weekend I need.
New York, it's still no philly, but it's a great weekend escape from reality and i cant wait to go.
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
10:59 pm
I went to a flyers preseason game tonight.
The only thing better than watching hockey again is watching a Philadelphia team beat a New York team.
THe Flyers beat the Islanders.
i saw hockey this is the only sport that i really enjoy.
It's good to have it back.
Sunday, September 25th, 2005
9:35 pm
This Day Forward....
So lifes been nuts for me.
I'm not exactly happy with my life status at the moment.
But I don't settle well, so I'm working towards the next step.
I've started taking these voice over classes in order to get my self to the level where maybe I can make some income off that. That's a way out.

I don't want to work where i do.
I don't really enjoy it anymore, and I'm stuck at the same low paying wage.
My brother who is still in school, works part time at a retirement home as a janitor, and he makes a good amount more than me. Thats not right.
I worked hard to get where i am, and i work myself to hard for this company, i deserve to have a job where the job respects me to.
Yesterday I was in the office on a saturday, i went in at 5 and stayed to 1 am

I don't ever want to do that again.

I need to get out of this field.

So I'm working my way there. Hopefully the voice over will give me a outlet where i can work and get by,
I want to go back to grad school, but right now i just can't afford it.
I will get there though, i want to get my masters and then hopefully get a job teaching Audio Video at a community college, it's not exactly a job with the glory of a the music buisness, but its a steady income, somthing i think i'd be good at , and something i know id enjoy.

hopefully i'll get there.

right now it's still just a goal...

I have to many goals...
It's been to long since i've managed to make one a reality.

I want a house.

I want a motorcyle.

I wamt my trust in people back.

I want a job I enjoy again.

I want a workplace where I feel respected, and I'm not responsible for pulling a part a fist fight of two ego maniac middle aged millionairs that don't want to hear the opinions of any one else in the office except their own. (yes, this happens at my job...and way to often)

I don;t want to deal with the stress.

I just want to be albe to get by, and enjoy my life and the people in it.

I'm taking the steps to gettin there.

It's a long way to get there though...

I'm sick of the music buisness, I fell in love with it because i love creative people. the artists, groups musicians.... I love to take in people's expressions of the world.

But I;ve come to realize the art doesn't matter, it's the buisness, and I didn't work this hard to get where I am to be in a buisness that basically revolves around how many beers and t-shirts can you sell.

I've started the DJing on Y100rocks.com again. I get the creativity there again...

I lost that feeling a while ago.

Gonna get it back..

JUst gotta get there.
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